Cautious Affections
by Frankenstein-Drag-Queen
Summary: The story about 2 men falling in love and try to love each other against all odds!rnCharacter: Jesse James, Chris Jericho, Billy Gunn, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Sean Waltman, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Edge, Christian
1. What If?

Title: What If?  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me sigh but if they did I sure as hell wouldn't complain giggles  
Distribution: Anywhere you want as long as you ask me.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.  
Rating: PG-13.

Jesse was currently sitting in his locker room. He was all alone. He needed to be alone to think. So many different thoughts were running through his mind. So many questions which needed to be answered. He knew exactly how to get the answers, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to get through with it.

These feelings he had. He was not supposed to feel this way. Over the past year he had been attracted to Chris Jericho in a way he had never considered a possibility. Hell, he had been attracted to another man before, many times, but… Chris Jericho? This arrogant, selfish, blond guy. But he was a doll. That beautiful face of his. Those sparkling eyes! They could cause Jesse to shiver every time he looked into them.

Maybe beyond the surface Chris could turn out to be anything but selfish. Maybe no one has had the chance to get to know Chris well enough. Maybe no one had been able to understand his thoughts or emotions. Perhaps Jesse could be that person to open up Chris?

Jesse was insecure whether or not he should go to Chris and reveal his feelings for him. He didn't want to make a fool out of himself, but he didn't want Chris to disappear out of his life forever without at least have tried to tell him about his emotions. Jesse inhaled a deep breath and let out a long sigh as he closed his eyes. He needed to tell him.

It was the only thing for him to do if he wanted to have a chance with Chris. Luckily Chris wasn't straight either, so if he was lucky then there could be a slight chance that he could get together with him. Of course it was a very small chance. But at least there was a chance! It was up to Jesse himself.

Another sigh escaped from his moist lips as he buried his face in his hands, harshly rubbing his rosy cheeks. He tried to relax. He rose from the bench he was sitting on and began pulling off his black sleeveless DX shirt. If he was going to tell Chris that he was in love with him then he had to take a shower first.

After a brief second Jesse managed to free himself from his shirt, exposing his pale torso, tattoos decorating his skin various places. He kicked off his shoes as he unbuckled his jeans.

His hands were lightly quivering as he discarded his jeans along with his boxers. Why did Chris have to have this effect on him? Jesse inhaled and glared down his exposed body. Dammit, Chris wasn't even there and he was already beginning to harden!

He had to think of something else! He needed to control himself if he was going to face Chris. He was not going to give in to his own lust just because he was hardening now.

"I've gotta think of something else… Dudleyz… Rikishi… Nasty! Definitely Rikishi!" Jesse winced at the mental images he was now seeing. He chuckled, "I suddenly feel sick…" he almost whispered to himself as he stepped into the shower.

Carefully he turned on the faucet, adjusting the temperature until it was the way he wanted it to be. He stuck his hand into the hot pouring water to check if it wasn't too warm. It wasn't. It was perfect.

He stepped into the water, the warm droplets caressing his skin all over his naked body. The water felt good against his flesh. Trickling down his flushed cheeks and dripping down onto the floor in the puddle of water on the white tiled floor.

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking about Chris. The image of his beautiful face and that gorgeous body was printed in his mind. It was a pure sign that he had to reveal his feelings for Chris. If he didn't then he would end up going insane!

There was nothing worse than ignorance. Not knowing what Chris could be thinking. Feeling. Wandering around in this constant fog of this confusion. Searching for an answer even though he knew only he could reveal the answer. He wanted to share his feelings with Chris. His love and his life.

He couldn't conceal it forever. It would be next to impossible to keep his secret wrapped in his own fear of being rejected. It was the same as with Billy once. He had also been afraid to tell him about his love for him. But when he finally did he realized that Billy had been feeling the same way about him since the first time they had met each other.

For those two years he was with Billy he had felt like he was living in paradise. Sparks had been flying and everything had been slow motion. The sweetest kiss was like being resurrected. The slightest touch had felt like fire on his flesh. He was in a heaven of pleasure.

Unfortunately there is a very thin line between Heaven and Hell, pain and pleasure. Also in that case. The past couple of months of their relationship had been more and more strange. Billy had been acting so odd, which caused Jesse to suspect Billy of being unfaithful to him. For some reason Jesse had pushed that thought away. He had ignored it.

One day Billy just suddenly told him that it was over. Jesse's entire world collapsed. His greatest love walked out of his life. And for what? A bitch who he thought was his friend! Billy rather wanted to spend his life with Chyna. Because of her Billy just gave up on everything they had and shared. Broke his heart.

A stray tear escaped from Jesse's reddened eye and trickled down his already wet cheek. All this pain Billy had caused was still buried deep inside his heart, still managing to come back to the surface, bringing along the horrible memories of being left alone by the person he loved.

This heartache he was carrying in his soul was one of the many reasons he was afraid to reveal his feelings for Chris. He was afraid Chris would be like Billy. Love him and leave him.

The water was beginning to coolen, mercilessly hitting his skin, creating goose bumps wherever it touched him. Another tear crawled down his cheek. Sniffling Jesse turned off the water as he stepped out of the shower, grabbing a white towel and began to wipe down his soaked body.

Jesse found his entire body was beginning to tremble. Not because he was freezing from the cold water, but because it was soon time to confront his own emotions in front of the person he loved. He was frightened of getting burned again.

He had actually given up on relationships after Billy, but for Chris he was willing to give it another chance. The last chance. If it wouldn't work out then he was insecure whether or not he could ever love another person again.

Dropping the towel on the floor, Jesse began to get dressed again. He put on his pair of boxers soon followed by his jeans. He kneeled down on the floor next to his duffel bag and started searching for a new t-shirt. Sighing as he found a shirt in his bag when he saw it was a shirt with 'Doggy Style' written on the back. Not really appropriate when you were going to tell someone you had a secret crush on him!

Jesse rubbed his temple harshly. This was not going to go as planned. First of all: He hadn't really planned anything in the first place and second of all: If he had then he would screw it up anyway as always.

He was known for having such a big mouth. Always talking trash. But tonight he was sure he would be speechless when he was supposed to say something very important! He always got so nervous around Chris. It was almost unbelievable what that man could do to Jesse.

Once again Jesse glared at his shirt. This was destined to go wrong. He really didn't want to wear that shirt, but it was all he had to wear. He definitely didn't want to wear the old dirty shirt from earlier. After a few seconds of consideration he finally put on his shirt. It was better than showing up shirtless!

He kneeled down again this time to put on and tie his shoes. When he rose again he caught sight of his own reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. A long shivering sigh slipped past his lips. It was time to go tell Chris. He closed his eyes for a brief second before leaving his locker room to go search for him.

The tensing was building in every muscle of his entire body. Carefully he was wandering through the corridors, constantly looking around to make sure no one would see him. Butterflies were flickering in his stomach, his hands quivering as if he was on his way to his own execution.

The way seemed to be so long. Every door was not the one he was searching for. He felt as if he was walking in circles. Searching for his destiny. Searching for his happiness. The only person who would be able to take away all of his pain and sorrow. If he was willing to?

Jesse kept telling himself that it wouldn't be so bad. He just had to tell Chris that he was in love with him and see how he reacted. It wasn't like it would cause him to die! It was a part of life. Love was like a flame. Warm and beautiful but when you tried to touch then you got burned.

There! Here it was. The door to Chris' locker room. He was finally there. Suddenly he'd rather wanted to go back to his own locker room and just forget all about Chris. Why did love have to be so fucking difficult?

He raised his arm and softly knocked on the door with trembling hands. He had never been this nervous in his entire life!

"Yeah?" Chris yelled from inside the room. He sounded quite happy. Maybe it would be a good time to get it over with. He was very insecure when he cautiously pushed the door open.

"Hi Chris," Jesse forced out despite the fact that he really wanted to close the door again and leave. The smile on Chris' perfect pink lips slowly developed into a frown. Jesse concluded that Chris obviously didn't like him. "Jesse? What are you doing here?" he said harshly but also surprised.

Jesse couldn't help but feel disappointed. He hadn't expected Chris to be like this. He knew they had never been the best friends since the first day Chris arrived in the fed. He didn't want to give up now though. He had gotten so far and wouldn't let this opportunity go that easy.

Playing with one of his braids, Jesse closed the door behind him and then glared down on his feet. He was afraid Chris would be able to see the nervousness in his eyes. "I was just…" Jesse began but trailed off and chuckled, "I mean… I wanted…"

Chris' eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out what was wrong with Jesse. He was acting so strange. What was he trying to tell him?

"What is it?" Chris abruptly exclaimed very impatiently. Jesse was already regretting ever coming into his locker room. He should have stayed away!

He was cursing to himself mentally while he inhaled a deep breath and finally managed to say something coherent, "I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight?" Fuck, that was not what he was supposed to say! How stupid! He definitely fucked it all up now!

Chris was just glancing at Jesse. He was shocked. No wonder! Right now Jesse was hoping for someone to interrupt them so he wouldn't have to explain why he was asking such a weird question. But no one came!

"I'm sorry! Fuck, I shouldn't have-" Jesse began but was cut off when Chris suddenly broke out of his trance and spoke, "Are you asking me out on a date?" Chris' eyes were wide and his jaw dropped, "I didn't mean to… I'm really sorry… I'll just leave," he apologized as he began to turn around, about to open the door when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder.

Jesse turned back in despair and was instantly gazing into Chris' sparkling eyes. A shy smile appeared on his moist lips. "I'd love to!" he said, joy coating his voice, "What?" Jesse wondered out loud, "I'd like to go out with you…" he replied, his voice shaky.

His smile broadened, showing his perfect white teeth, causing Jesse to return the smile. He couldn't believe Chris had actually accepted! It seemed so surreal! "You sure?" Jesse nearly laughed in pure joy, "Yes. I'm sure!" he said very sincere.

Never in his life had Jesse been so surprised and happy! Chris Jericho wanted to go out with him! It couldn't be true… "Ummm… ok!" his voice was shaky and coated with laughter, "Where should we… um… meet?" Jesse murmured as he nervously played with one of his braids. He could feel his cheeks turning bright red.

"Why don't you stop by my hotel room tonight…?" Jesse could sense that Chris was just as nervous as he was. Maybe Chris did feel the same way as Jesse did! "Great!" Jesse exclaimed happily causing Chris' eyes to sparkle with laughter.

"Ok… um. I'll see you tonight then," Jesse just needed to get away from Chris right now before he would scream out loud because he was so happy! Just as he was about to turn around to open then door Chris spoke again, "Jesse?" "Hmmm?" Jesse wondered as he glared at the most beautiful face in the world, "Don't you wanna know what time?" he laughed, "Oh! Of course," Jesse began laughing too. "9pm. Is that too late?" Chris raised his eyebrows, "No it's fine!" a shy smile appeared on his dry lips before he darted his tongue out to moist them.

He inhaled deeply before opening the door and stepping out, carefully closing it behind him. It all seemed so surreal. Like a dream. It was unbelievable. Jesse had to pinch his own arm to make sure he was awake and not that he had fallen asleep in his locker room. He winced a little at the pain in his arm, but smiled. He was awake!

He was awake and Chris hadn't rejected him! Jesse was already looking forward to that evening. He couldn't wait for so many hours. Now he just wished that Chris wouldn't push him away like Billy did.

The End 


	2. First Date

Title: First Date.  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me sigh but if they did I sure as hell wouldn't complain giggles  
Distribution: Anywhere you want as long as you ask me.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.  
Rating: PG-13.  
Notes: Jesse James POV.

As I walk down the hallway I can feel the butterflies beginning to flicker in my stomach. I've never been this nervous in my entire life. It's even worse than this afternoon where I finally asked him to go out with me. I wasn't supposed to ask him. It just happened. I don't know if I should be relieved or afraid.

After all this could might as well be the end as it could be the beginning of a relationship with him. And believe me there's nothing else in this world I'd like to have than a relationship with Chris!

I won't push him to do anything he doesn't want to do. I've been in love with him for a hell of a long time and I'd kill myself if I fucked this up now. Not so close to being with him! I wouldn't be able to look at my reflection in the mirror, knowing that I fucked up another chance of being loved.

I couldn't bear to know that I hurt Chris the way Billy hurt me.

Held me in his arms and told me I'd be his forever. Cradled me. Touched me. Kissed me. Loved me. Left me.

The pain he caused me was unbearable and I wouldn't want to inflict that kind of pain on Chris.

Fuck I'm so nervous now. My hands are all sweaty and shaking. I didn't bring anything. I didn't know what to bring so I just didn't… Normally you bring stuff to give to the person you're going on a date with, but I was too confused to find anything.

Besides I don't really know if there was anything he'd want or if he even wanted me to bring anything for him in the first place!

Holy fuck! There's the door to his hotel room. A few more steps and there'll only be a door between us. Just as I thought the tension in my stomach couldn't be worse. It's indescribable. This unique effect he has on me. I would do anything he asked me to. No matter what it was. I'd even kill for him! Maybe not, but I'd do almost anything.

Now I'm right in front of the door. I just feel like continue down the hallway, but I don't think that'll be a good idea. I'd hate myself for the rest of my life if I did that. And it'll make me look like coward.

My hands are trembling even more and I take a deep breath, rub my sweaty palms against the tight denim fabric covering my thighs and cautiously knock on the door.

Nothing happens. The door isn't being opened. But why? Did he… did he only bring me here to make me look like a damn fool? I glance around a couple of times, making sure no one is looking at me from around the corner.

It wouldn't surprise me if this was all a setup! He's probably sitting somewhere together with his buddies, laughing because I'm so stupid to show up here expecting him to open the door to a room he's not even in…

I should have known. Why would he want a mutt like me anyway? He deserves better. And I don't deserve someone as beautiful and popular as him.

I can feel tears prick behind my eyes, but I hold them back, refusing to show how vulnerable I am even though I'm alone here.

I sigh and swallow hard before I once again knock on the door, this time a little harder just to check if he really isn't in there. Still no answer. I guess he's not here. I can't help but feel very disappointed and indeed hurt. I really thought he was sincere. I was wrong.

God, I feel so stupid…

I slowly turn around to walk away since there's no reason to stay here and just as I'm about to take the first step I hear a squeaky sound as the door suddenly opens up. I instantly freeze. I can feel my heart skip a few beats before I carefully turn back.

There he is! Beautiful as always. Standing in the door. Waiting for me. It's unbelievable. I can't believe it's actually true but it is. I was so sure he wasn't here.

He's just standing there so close to me I can actually reach out and touch him. I won't however. I'm much too scared to do that. I can't seem to move at all. I feel as I've been turned into a statue. For me it doesn't matter as long as he'll stay there so I can watch him for the rest of my life. For him I would stand here forever.

I glance into his crystal clear blue eyes causing him to develop a shy smile on his perfect pink lips. I would give anything to taste those delicious lips. I cautiously return the smile to him. I think I'm blushing slightly.

Everything seems to be in slow motion. Violins are playing in my head. It's the sweetest and most beautiful melody I've ever heard. A million tiny glittering sparks of love springs from behind him as if it was a fountain of fire. I know it's all just in my head but it all makes him seem so more beautiful.

I wouldn't trade this for anything else in the world!

I've never felt like this ever since… ever since Billy! But hell I refuse to think about Billy. Not tonight. Not any night! He's history. A part of my past and I can't keep dwelling on the past. Chris could be my future. All I have to do is just reach out for him and take his hand.

"Come inside…" he manages to say, his voice quite shaky. Seems that he's as nervous as I am. I stand for a few more seconds, savoring everything. His face, eyes, body. Everything. I can't say a single word so I just nod as he steps aside allowing me to come into his hotel room.

I step inside the room only to be surprised! The lights are dim and the long curtains are covering the large windows, not letting any sunshine penetrate into the room. In the middle of the room on the floor there was a little table. The gentle light from the candles' flickering flames. There were two chairs on opposite sides of the table.

Chris had really been looking forward for this since he had done so much! "I don't have any food to serve…" Chris suddenly said, looking quite guilty for not arranging any dinner. I couldn't help but smile at that. He looked so cute like that. "That's ok. I'm not really hungry anyway," is all I can say not to hurt his feelings.

This could be an interesting evening!

Chris motions for me to sit down with his hand and I don't hesitate for a second, never taking my eyes off him as I sit down on one of the chairs. I watch him eagerly as he sits down on the other chair in front of me.

He shifts a couple of times in his chair before finally being comfortable. He looks down on his hands, nervously playing with his own fingers. Then he shifts a few more times in the chair, "You want anything to drink?" he asks before clearing his throat, "Yeah…" I sigh without even noticing how pathetic it actually sounds.

Quickly he rises and goes to the little refrigerator to search for something to drink. I carefully watch each and every move of his. It's amazing how gorgeous he is no matter what he does. "What would you like? Beer, wine, diet coke?" he asks me. I'm not sure what I want. Except for him. I'm so caught up in my own thoughts that I actually only remember the last part of what he said. "Diet, I think…" I murmur, trying not to sound as bad as I did before.

I keep watching him as he grabs the diet coke and carefully shuts the fridge. Glancing at me he asks, "You want a glass?" with a shaky voice. I can't believe that he's still nervous considering that I've been here for… 10 minutes. My trembling has died out now and I think I'll soon be able to control myself completely.

Still I'm unable to speak coherently so I just nod and smile. He reaches to find a glass, fumbling to actually pour into the glass and not on the surface of the table.

After a minute of trying to control his quivering hands he finally sits down again, giving me the glass. I look at. That's all I do, but only for a brief seconds. Then I return my gaze to his pretty face. Again he clears his throat, "Anything else I can get you?" he is just about to rise again, but I prevent him from doing it as I grab his hand.

He instantly sits down again, glaring surprised at my hand then up at my face before he sends me a smile that nearly causes me to melt as if I was the tiniest snowflake in the middle of the desert in Africa!

I gently rub my thumb along his velvet smooth skin on his hand. His skin feels so warm like fire only that it doesn't burn me. So soft like silk. Little jolts of electricity shoots through my fingers as I softly caress him. He closes his eyes for a second, savoring my touch. At least that's what I'd like to pretend he does.

"Please. It's ok like this. Just please, Chris. Sit down for a moment…" I say, sounding surprisingly calm. Funny, I thought I was nervous… I guess I'm not anymore.

"What do you wanna do?" he questions me, searching my face with his eyes to figure out what I want. He fails however. "I don't know… talk?" I suggests as I shrug my shoulders. Somehow he seems to calm down a little. I keep tracing little patterns on his skin with my thumb, trying to soothe him some more.

We just sit there for what seems like hours even though it's only a few minutes. Everything seems to freeze except for us. Everything has stopped. Except our heartbeats and our breath. The silence is overwhelming quiet. Almost too quiet. I swallow hard and lean forward, resting my elbows on the table.

"I think I'm in love with you…" I whisper. My cheeks are flushing. I can feel it. And my heart is pumping madly. He seems to be stunned. For a moment I'm afraid he's gonna burst out in laughter. But he doesn't. Instead he disentangles his hand from mine and pulls away.

Oh, fuck! I said something I shouldn't have said. I can feel the feeling of panic starting to rise in me. I knew I shouldn't have said that! Why am I such a fool! I should have kept my big mouth shut.

"Oh, shit… Chris I'm sorry… I – I shouldn't have said that… I'm… oh fuck…" fear is coating my voice and I instantly try to get up from the chair, but he holds up his hand, motioning for me to sit down again. I hesitate for a brief moment before sitting down again.

He leans forward, closing the distance between us causing me to move backwards. He's scaring me now! As he reaches out to cup my face I can feel my breath startle. Then his mobile phone rings.

I lean back in the chair somewhat relieved while he gets his phone out of his pocket and answers it, "Hello? Yeah… what? Are you sure? Ok. Ermmm… then I'll be there in about…" he glances at his watch and then at me again, "30 minutes, ok? Yeah… Take care," he puts his phone in the pocket and looks at me, his expression is slightly disappointed.

"I'm really sorry… but a friend just called. I have to leave," he says, scratching his head, "Of course… I understand…" I say trying not to sound as disappointed as I actually am. He sighs as he gets up and then I get up as well.

I start towards the door and just as I'm about to open the door he calls after me, "Jesse!" I turn around, very curious to know what he wants, "Hmm?" He is biting his lower lip. He slowly moves a few steps closer to me.

We're now standing inches from each other. The door is pressing against my back. I swallow hard when I notice that he is coming closer, our noses almost touching. He leans in to press his lips on mine. It is a quick kiss, but I can still taste his flavor on my lips when he withdraws his from mine. "I'm glad you told me about your feelings…" he smiles.

I release the breath I realize I am holding. I'd give anything and do anything to taste those sweet lips again. It's like he can read my mind because within seconds his lips are on mine again. This time more passionate.

It starts out slowly and cautious but soon the intensity of the kiss grows. He slightly parts his moist lips allowing me to explore his exquisite flavor with my tongue. I am unable to hold back a moan when I feel his hand slide around my waist and I move my hands up his spine until my fingers are tangled in his long golden locks. I can't describe this moment. I taste all the sweetness of the world.

I gasp for air when he breaks the kiss, looking into his sparkling eyes. I carefully remove my hands from his soft hair, my hands quivering almost violently. I reach behind me and fumble to find the doorknob and turn it as soon as I've found it.

"I better get going…" I pant as I step out the door backwards, nearly tripping over my own feet. He laughs a little. Probably because I act so goofy right now, but hell, I didn't expect him to kiss me! A hug would have been Heaven for me, but a kiss? I'm gonna faint as soon as I return to my own room!

This is the fucking weirdest date I've ever been at! I don't look back at him when I walk away. I'm afraid I won't be able to leave if I do. I hear the door close as soon as I walk around the corner. I sigh and I grin just like a maniac!

I am now facing the door to my own hotel room. Reaching inside my pockets, searching for the key. I bet I'm gonna have some sweet dreams tonight. Wonder if Chris will be dreaming about me? Damn this seems so surreal!

There! I find my key and pull it out, sticking it into the lock and turn it. The clicking sound seems almost distant. I can't think of anything else than Chris.

I step inside and smack the door behind me. Walking straight to the bed, I sit down on the edge and look down onto the carpeted floor before I lay myself back, sprawling across the mattress. My smile is broader than it has been for several years. And I thought being with Billy was Paradise? Boy was I wrong. This feeling is so much better!

Yawning and rubbing my eyes I realize how tired I actually am. I'm exhausted. I roll off the bed and undress myself until I'm only wearing boxers and then crawl back into the bed, burying myself under the blankets.

I think the date only lasted for 20 minutes, but it was the greatest 20 minutes in my entire life! Another yawn. I close my eyes and feel a stray tear escape from my eye and trickle down my cheek. Not even bothering to wipe it away, I just inhale deeply and sigh. My breath starts to even out.

I am already dreaming about Chris.

The End 


	3. Realization

Title: Realization.  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me sigh but if they did I sure as hell wouldn't complain giggles  
Distribution: Anywhere you want as long as you ask me.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.  
Rating: PG-13.  
Notes: Chris Jericho POV.

That kiss. It was so gentle and yet so rough. So cautious and yet so wild. His lips felt good against mine. He tasted like a dream. Something I can't really describe. Something I've been searching for my entire life.

Sweet like chocolate. The sweetest taste I've ever experienced. It's simply indescribable. An irresistible flavor that just makes you want more and more. It makes you addicted.

He left less than a minute ago and I'm already craving for his taste. I wasn't even supposed to kiss him. I just did. I couldn't help myself. All day I've been glaring at him. Those eyes he has. Looking so innocent even though I know that's one of the last things he is.

And those lips. So full. Perfect. As if he had escaped from a dream you dreamt every night, knowing that you could never have him. And there he was suddenly. Alive and real. How could I be so blind? He was there all along! I've searched for him without even knowing that he existed!

Maybe I shouldn't have kissed him? I think I should have waited for a little longer. Let him get over his relationship with Billy. I don't even know if he still has feelings for Billy. I bet he does. Those two were so close. Jesse couldn't be alone for one day without he started missing Billy.

He loved him with all his heart. Jesse gave him all he could but received nothing in return. Billy used him. He didn't love him in return. It was all for the sex and the day he found another he could treat as his own private bitch, he dumped Jesse!

Jesse was devastated! His entire world collapsed when Billy left him lying in the dirt pleading for him to stay with him. Everyone thought they were the perfect couple. Everyone was wrong. No one ever expected their relationship to end the way it did!

They seemed to be the happiest couple in the world. Didn't care what people said about them. Always holding hands. Constantly touching each other. They simply couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

I never really knew I felt anything for Jesse until the day he and Billy broke up. I remember seeing Jesse in the hallway, tears running down his flushed cheeks, Hunter trying to stop him. I asked Hunter what had happened and he told me that Billy had told him it was over. He had found a new.

At that very moment I found myself feeling sorry for Jesse. I wanted to kick Billy's ass, but I didn't know why.

Since that day I've felt this weird feeling towards Jesse. I wasn't sure what it was. I got so nervous around him. Butterflies in my stomach. And today when he came to my locker room and asked me out… I was the happiest person on earth. I realized I had a crush on him.

I paced back and forth all day until I couldn't stand it any longer! I laid myself down on the couch trying to relax a little and I accidentally fell asleep. I woke up as I thought I heard a knocking noise. I was pretty tired so I didn't really care. Until I realized that it was Jesse knocking on the door.

He must have been standing outside my room for a while because when I opened the door it looked like he was about to walk away. I would have killed myself if he had left before I opened the door! But there he was. Gorgeous as always. I don't think he realize how beautiful he actually is. I would be happy to be the one to tell him how beautiful he is. Every damn day!

I would really have wanted to stay here with him, but my friend needed my help. I better get going. I promised to be there in… 25 minutes.

Should I try and make this work with Jesse? I mean, he has been hurt before and I don't want to push him into something he might not be ready for. And I'm not even sure if I'm ready for it either.

I want him. He's everything that makes this life worth living! I love him… I love him. There, I said it. I'm in love with him. I've been for years, but never realized it until now. And now… now I can't exist without him. Physically I can. But not emotionally.

And that kiss didn't make it any better. I just needed to taste him. And I want to taste him again.

Still I'm insecure whether or not I should continue down this path. I love him so much, but I'm afraid I'll hurt him. I want him to be happy, and maybe I'll cause him more sorrow than happiness.

I can't control my emotions any longer! It's driving me insane! Feels like I'm trapped in my body, not being able to reach out and touch what I wanna touch. Not being able to say what I want to say. I want to tell him that I love him and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

He'll probably be surprised. I've felt like this for a long time. No one knew. He didn't know. And I didn't know.

I don't want to sound like a selfish bastard, which I probably am, but I think Jesse deserves someone better than Billy. I'm saying I'm the best guy on earth, but I'm a hell of a lot better than Billy.

If Jesse and me do get together then I would never hurt him the way Billy did. Why the hell did Billy leave him any way? He had everything. He had someone who loved him and would do anything for him and yet he was not satisfied. I doubt he didn't love Jesse. It's not possible. Jess is just too lovable. You can't dislike him or hate him for that matter!

If Jesse were mine then I'd give him all I had including my heart. God, I sound like a pathetic loser. Instead of saying all these things I should go out and do them! His hotel room is not far from mine. I could go straight to him when I come back.

Maybe I shouldn't though. I need some time to think. To control my thoughts. I think he needs that too.

He seemed very surprised when I kissed him. I had actually expected him to push me away. But he didn't. He returned the gesture! To my surprise it seemed as he liked it just as much as I did. It was a kiss I will never ever forget!

I can still taste him slightly on my lips. Still sweet and addictive. I wonder if the rest of his body tastes the same way. Maybe better. His delicious pale skin. I wanna nip at his tattoos. Taste him again and again.

Please him beyond speech. Hold him in my arms, feel his body close to mine and never let go of him again. I want to make love to him day and night. I wanna caress him when he's sad and tell him that everything will be ok.

I just don't know if it will ever come true or if it will just be another of those dreams you dream over and over again, wishing for it to come true even though you know it never will.

The End 


	4. Confession

Title: Confession.  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me sigh but if they did I sure as hell wouldn't complain giggles  
Distribution: Anywhere you want just drop me a line.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.  
Rating: PG-13.  
Couple: Jesse James/Chris Jericho.  
Notes: Changes POV.

Jesse  
I don't know what's gonna happen today. Everything's been so weird since the other night. That kiss. I've been thinking and thinking for the past couple of days and to be honest then I really don't know if the kiss meant anything.

It meant something to me however. It meant everything. Everything!

There's nothing left to do than to ask him how he feels. He has to be here somewhere. I just don't know where.

Cautiously I push the door to my locker room open and leave determined to find him and tell him my true feelings, desperately hoping that he feels the same as I do. It's now or never. All or nothing.

As I walk down the hallway I see Billy not far from me. I will just ignore him and hope he doesn't notice me. I don't need to think about him now. I don't want to think about him. I have someone else on my mind! Hopefully he will treat me with more respect than Billy ever did!

I just pass him like I don't know he's there and luckily he doesn't see me. I let out the breath I realize I was holding. Why does he make me so nervous? I don't love him anymore. Not after what he did to me! He broke my heart.

I don't know. Somehow he makes me a little frightened. Maybe because I don't know how he feels about me. When we were together he was very possessive! I wasn't allowed to go anywhere unless he was with me. And sometimes if I did something he didn't like then he hit me.

I remember one day showing up in the locker room with a huge bruise on my cheekbone. Sean had been wondering how I got it and he had asked me. I simply told him I had walked into a door. The worst excuse ever! And I don't think he bought it. Sean somehow must have thought he shouldn't stick his nose in in my private life and my relationship with Billy.

I am a grown man so I should have been able to realize how wrong it was. That the love I had for him was not returned. What he felt for me was pure jealousy. And then of course there was the sex part! He used me to get some. He didn't want me to be around other. Only wanted me for himself! He didn't love me. Maybe he did in the beginning. I don't know.

I shouldn't even be thinking about him now. I should worry about Chris since I can't find him. Where the hell is he? He must be here somewhere! I'm not sure if I should ask someone if they know where he is.

Anyway my relationship with Billy was wrong from the beginning. I just don't know how I could have been so naïve! Why didn't I see it coming? I should have opened my eyes instead of pretending it would all be alright in the end. It was never alright! It would never be alright! That's just how our relationship was. It was all just fucked up!

I'm suddenly being brought back to reality when I bump into someone. "Oh, sorry…" I mumble and continue without even looking at the person, "Jesse?" I hear the most wonderful voice and feel a warm hand on my shoulder.

Is it him?

I can feel a strange indescribable feeling course through my body. A warm tingling sensation! I slowly gaze up, feeling my lips curl upwards when I'm drowning in his sparkling eyes. It is him! Chris. Standing in front of me.

He is slightly smiling, just like I am. I can't stop staring at him. "Can I talk to you?" his voice is soft and comforting in my ears, and he has me speechless again. I can't talk, so I only nod which causes his smile to widen.

He glances around nervously, searching for possible witnesses and I instinctively do the same thing before he takes my hand in his, warm and gentle, and leads me into the nearest empty locker room. He closes the door behind us, not bothering to lock it.

He motions for me to sit down and so I do. He does the same. As he is sitting in front of me I can feel my hands beginning to lightly quiver. But… is it me or is he also trembling?

Chris  
I don't know how to tell him this. For so long I've been waiting for the right moment. It never came. I was supposed to tell him on our so-called date, but I just never had the chance. That was why I kissed him instead and I've been so insecure ever since!

I have a feeling that he loves me. But a part of me keeps telling me that all he wants is to get laid. I'd like to believe the first part and not the second. I refuse to believe he can be like that after what happened in his past relationship.

He has been hurt. I have been hurt. Maybe we can nurse each other's scars. Physically and emotionally. But the most important thing must be the love. If we love each other then that's enough and that's all that matters!

He is just sitting here in front of me, still holding my hand. Refusing to let go. I won't let go of him either. He is the only one I want.

His eyes are full of expectations. Almost glassy. Like he's on the verge of tears. I don't know if it is tears of happiness or sorrow. I hope it is happiness.

I take a deep breath and prepare to tell him my true feelings. Then he suddenly speaks. "Chris… there's something I've wanted to say-" I cut him off with a finger on his lips and he looks almost surprised. So wonderfully beautiful.

"Shhh… don't say anything," I whisper as I look deep into his ocean blue eyes. The room is filled with nothing. Emptiness. Nothing but the two of us. I slowly close the distance between us and I can feel our lips pressing together.

Those soft, moist lips of his. Addictive in flavor but impossible to describe. Nothing is as sweet as his taste. I slide my arm around his waist pulling him closer to me as I indulge in his rich flavor. I carefully part my lips letting him explore me with his slick tongue and I moan into him when I feel his hand cupping the back of my head as he deepens the kiss.

I savor all of him. I don't ever want this moment to end. It's the greatest taste, feeling you could ever imagine. And something deep inside of my heart tells me that he feels the exact same way as I do. This is one of the few moments you can categorize as perfect.

I can now feel something moist touching my cheek. He is crying. Warm little droplets trickling down his cheek, creating a tiny glittering path.

We break the kiss. Looking into each other's eyes. Tears are in the corners of his eyes, only a few escaped. He blinks one single time and now a few more frees themselves and trickles along the path that was created by the first tear.

"I love you," I simply say without any further hesitation. He smiles, his lower lip quivering slightly, and even more tears escape his shining glassy eyes. His only reply is consisting of only four words. Words that tell everything! "I love you too…"

The End 


	5. Together For The First Time

Title: Together For The First Time.  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me sigh but if they did I sure as hell wouldn't complain giggles  
Distribution: Anywhere you want as long as you ask me.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male situations.  
Rating: R. edited version

Deja vu.

That was how Jesse felt like right now. Like this had already happened before. And it had. Not many days ago, Jesse had walked the same path.

Head lowered, Jesse glared down at the Bordeaux carpeted floor. The color seemed so much brighter at the moment. Jesse knew it wasn't. It was probably because he was a little nervous. He was nearing the door to Chris' room. Nearing the door to his happiness.

To be quite honest then Jesse had no idea of what was going to happen tonight. All he knew was that Chris was waiting for him. He was waiting for no one else than him. It was almost too good to be true. Surreal. Like a dream.

If it was a dream then Jesse wished he would never wake up again.

Many memories of the last time he was on his way to Chris popped up in his mind. The same strange feeling. Like a huge tight knot tying inside his stomach. The light tingling sensation making it almost impossible to concentrate. The thoughts coursing through his mind when no one opened the door.

But also when the door suddenly opened! He had felt so hurt and lost, but at the moment the door opened all that had vanished like a wave had washed over him. The warm gentle touch against his skin. Chris' lightly quivering fingertips had brushed over his hand, sending a strangely comforting feeling throughout his entire body.

And of course that kiss. Abruptly and longing. Yet it felt so right. For that moment everything had felt right.

At this very moment Jesse felt almost happy just by thinking of these things.

With every step Jesse came closer and closer to Chris. With every breath his body tensed more and more.

Finally.

He was there. All he had to do now was knock on the wooden door.

He knocked and the door was carefully opened. He sucked in a shaky breath when he saw Chris. Standing there in front of him. Never had he looked more beautiful than he did now. He looked almost like an angel to Jesse.

He was wearing those tight PVC trousers that seemed to fit perfectly to his gorgeous body. But what caught Jesse's attention was the smile on Chris' beautiful face. His perfect lips curled upwards. Jesse could feel himself blushing. He was speechless. Couldn't even think coherent.

"Hi..." Jesse finally managed to say. Chris only looked at him, still with that beautiful smile. Jesse felt as if he was about to faint.

Amused by the affect he had on Jesse, Chris gently took his hand and led him inside. The feel of his hand in his made Jesse swallow hard. It felt so good. So natural. Like it had been missing in his entire life. And it was finally here. And he was determined to never let go of it again, no matter what happened!

Before even getting the chance to speak another word Jesse felt moist lips press against his and Chris had him moaning within a second. He faintly heard the door shut behind him. Tangling his fingers in Chris' golden silky locks, he deepened the kiss; a desperate groan escaped his throat when he felt Chris' tongue against his.

A wave of arousal shot throughout him when he suddenly felt warm fingers travel up under his shirt. The touch was gentle, almost curious. Everything seemed to be perfect! Tasting those addictive lips. Feeling those curious fingertips trailing across the mountains and valleys of his ribs.

Lips met with a curve of his neck, sucking hard enough to leave a red mark while fingers slowly drifted further up to explore his chest.

Suddenly Jesse broke the kiss, gasping for air. He looked into Chris' eyes. He seemed a bit confused. "You ok?" Chris carefully questioned, "Is it going too fast?" his eyes were glaring straight into Jesse's. "No, it's just…" he sighed, "Are you sure this is what you really want?"

A light laughter escaped his lips before he stole a quick kiss from Jesse, "I've never been so sure in my life!" he said before claiming his lips in a passionate kiss.

He then moved away from Jesse despite the little protesting whimper that slipped past Jesse's lips as he did so.

Sitting down on the springy mattress, Chris send an inviting smile to Jesse and it didn't take long for Jesse to understand the hint! He was quick to emerge in front of Chris, kneeled down and kissed his lips. When he trailed his lips down to kiss his jaw and neck he heard a faint whisper in his ear. "I love you…"

Jesse's lips slowly curled upwards and he withdrew only to look into the bright eyes of the younger man in front of him. Chris looked so happy. A perfect reflection of his own face, he was sure of. "I love you too…" he replied cautiously. Jesse memorized Chris' face before slowly moving in to taste his sweet lips again.

Eyes shut; Chris could hear the sound of Jesse's bare feet padding out to the bathroom. He returned moments later after cleaning himself and crawled onto the mattress again.

Chris sighed. He could hear a low purr emitting from Jesse before he was once again by his side. A kiss was placed on his forehead before Jesse snuggled closer to him, draping the covers over their still sweaty bodies.

Wrapping his arms around Chris' body, Jesse was now lying with Chris' back pressed against his chest. He kissed his shoulder quickly, Chris shifting a little when he felt the stubble tickle his sensitive skin.

Within a few minutes Chris' breathing had begun to even out. Slow deep breaths. His chest heaving at a comforting pace. Jesse felt the need to hold him. He would never let go again.

A wave of tiredness washed over him and he closed his eyes, tightening his grip around the man lying with him. A weary smile appeared on his lips, before he whispered "I love you, babe…"

The End 


	6. You Are The One

Title: You Are The One.  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me sigh I want Jesse! Give him to me! I'll take real good care of him wink wink  
Distribution: Anywhere you want as long as you ask me.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.  
Rating: PG-13.  
Notes: Jesse James POV. This is the 6th chapter of my Cautious Affections series.

Slowly I open my sleep-hazed eyes. The faint sunlight that peeks through the curtains are enough to make my eyes hurt for a second. I blink many times to adjust to the light that has greeted me. I harshly rub me eyes before reopening them.

What time is it? It must be around noon. I don't really know. Do I really care? I guess I don't.

I turn my head and I'm instantly glaring at the sleeping form of the most beautiful man I've ever seen! Who would have thought I'd wake up next to him?

I sigh. He's so gorgeous. Eyes closed while he's in his own dream world. Flushed cheeks. His pink lips are slightly parted, causing him to look even more adorable.

His chest is heaving as he inhales softly. He looks so perfect. The blankets are draped over his hips, revealing his firm chest. His tanned skin seems to glow in the sunrays.

I giggle quietly when I notice his hair. It's a mess. Thank God my hair is braided. I reach out to play with a strand of his silky locks. Soft and smooth. Tickling the digit of my index finger.

All I want to do at this moment is just snuggle closer to him, hold his body tightly to mine. But I'm afraid I'd wake him up. He deserves the peaceful sleep. He deserves everything! I wish I could give him the world, but I can't. All I can offer is the love I have for him.

Yeah, I guess I might as well admit it to myself. It feels kinda odd. Until now I wasn't so sure of how much I really cared for him. Now I know. I love him. I've fallen for him faster than the speed of light!

I believe he feels the same way about me. After what we shared yesterday then I'm convinced. He's not like Billy. He's like an angel. My angel.

I can't help but smile at this. He even looks exactly like an angel. All he needs is the wings.

I never knew I'd feel this way. I loved Billy yes, but I never experienced a moment of pure happiness like this when I was with him. And to be quite honest then it scares me a bit. I don't want to lose any of this. As it seems now then it can only go wrong. It can't get any better than this.

I close my eyes for a brief moment, indulging the silence that fills the room. It feels so nice. There are no noises except for the sound of his comforting breath.

My entire body feels numb. I can't feel. I can't hear. I open my eyes again, arching my head to watch his face again. A sudden tingling spreads through my body. Again I can feel and hear. I can see. I see him. He's all I need to see. Need to hear. Need to feel. All I need!

I roll onto my side to watch him more carefully and that's when I realize I need to go to the bathroom. Of all times then it just had to be now? I don't recall drinking anything yesterday… Hmmm… Doesn't really matter. I'll stay here and wait until he wakes up.

I wanna be here when he wakes up. It's like he's been in a coma for months and is going to finally wake up in a matter of minutes. And again also the reason why I won't leave at the moment is because I don't want to disturb his sleep.

It may seem silly, but that's just how I am. And I don't want to miss a single second of watching him. Every move he makes; every breath he takes. It's like an eerie addiction. A fascination I cannot miss out on.

Damn my own stupidity 'cause I really need to go! Fuck… I hope he'll wake up soon. Then I can go piss and afterwards I can watch him again. This time when he's awake.

Just like he could actually hear my thoughts, he slowly opens his eyes. His weary eyes gazing at me. He smiles. "Good morning…" he mumbles before stretching his arms. I return the smile.

He slowly crawls closer to me and wraps his arms around my neck and closes the distance between us. He is kissing me softly, a purr emitting from him as he cautiously rolls me onto my back, drawing himself with me to lay sprawled on top of me.

He deepens the kiss. It feels so good.

His hipbone suddenly puts a light pressure on my bladder and it sends a painful and embarrassing reminder that I need to piss real badly! A low whimper slips through my lips due to the discomfort and I break the kiss and gently nudge him off me again.

His face is coated with confusion. He looks like his entire world just collapsed. That look makes me feel terribly guilty for something I don't even know what is! All I know is that it hurts me seeing him like this.

"What's wrong?" his voice is low and it's killing me. "Chris, it's nothing, just that…" he cuts me off as he speaks again, his voice full of despair. "I'm sorry…" his head drops and I can see that he's in obvious pain, "I shouldn't have done this… I knew you didn't want this!" he's on the verge of tears!

A huge knot is tying in my gut. At least that's how it feels! I put a finger to his lips, making him silent. "Chris… stop being such a fool! I'm not gonna leave you! You got it all wrong here…" I laugh lightly when I notice his puzzled expression.

I quickly steal a kiss from his pouty lips before managing to escape from the blankets and then I climb off the bed, displaying my exposed body. "I just have to piss, that's all!" I instantly regret using that wording. Maybe I should have used a different language.

He sends me a grin and then he waves for me to go and I realize that he obviously don't care about my language. Thank God for that.

I close the door behind me.

All I can think about is him. Wonder what he must be thinking right now. I somehow hope he's thinking about me. Well why not, I mean… I'm thinking about him then he could very well be thinking about me.

I'm finally done with… relieving myself and I move to the sink and begin washing my hands as I glare into the mirror. As I look at my own reflection I can't help but wonder what he sees in me. He's so beautiful and I'm just… me.

I finally tear my look away from the mirror and open the door to return to the bed. He's just lying there. Patiently waiting for me. I wouldn't want to let him wait. I make it back to the bed and crawl back onto the mattress.

He giggles and pulls me into a tight embrace. His body feels so warm against mine. We lay here for a few seconds only staring into one another's eyes before he awkwardly manages to wrap the blankets around both of our bodies.

I never let go of him as I shift a little to make it more comfortable for myself. Abruptly he gives me a kiss on my cheek and I'm caught off guard. "I love you…" he murmurs against my jaw as he snuggles closer to me.

I can feel my lips curl upwards and I tighten my hold on him, feeling him do the exact same thing. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest and I conclude that he must be able to feel my heart too. If it was possible then I would have snuggled even closer to him, but then I would be choking him.

He sighs and closes his eyes, the hot burst of air caressing my neck. I nuzzle his cheek before placing a light kiss, "Love you too, baby" Damn I could get used to this!

At this very moment everything seems right. Nothing can force me to let go. I love you Chris. You are all I need. You are the one. I love you! I really do.

The End 


	7. Time To Tell

Title: Time To Tell.  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: No one belongs to me. This world is so unfair!  
Distribution: Ask me. I am very nice.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.  
Rating: PG-13.  
Notes: This is the 7th chapter of my Cautious Affections series.

Jesse was lying on the bed in Chris' hotel room. His stuff was already packed for tonight's show. All his wrestling gear was packed in his duffel bag which was currently placed next to the bed.

Sprawled on top of the mattress with his arms folded over his chest, Jesse was far gone into his own little world of dreams. His eyes were locked on Chris, watching every single move he made as he was busy packing his own stuff.

Chris gazed up for a brief moment, noticing Jesse's trance. He chuckled and shook his head before going back to what he was doing.

He was indeed amusing by seeing Jesse like that. It wasn't everyday he was completely lost in his own thoughts like that! Chris couldn't help but wonder what he could be thinking about.

A thought suddenly crossed his mind. He stopped his actions and only glanced down into the bag. Once again he looked up and glared at Jesse.

Jesse finally reacted. His lips slowly curling upwards into a somewhat weary smile. An almost inaudible sigh slipped past his moist lips, his eyes still locked firmly on the beautiful form of Chris Jericho.

What could Jesse be thinking? Maybe the same as Chris?

Was it time to tell their friends about their relationship? After almost one month of being together.

They had been together every time they had the chance. No one knew about their relationship yet. They hadn't shared hotel rooms or anything. Only sneaked into each other's rooms at night when they were sure no one would have noticed them.

Met secretly in the locker rooms before and after matches. Chris smiled inwardly as he remembered one time where he had sneaked into Jesse's locker room and he was forced to hide in the bathroom when Sean had suddenly knocked on the door.

He was forced to stay out there for a good half hour before the little prick had finally decided to fuck off! But spending time with Jesse had always been wonderful. Jesse was definitely the greatest person he had ever met.

He wouldn't want anyone else. Only Jesse.

But it was time to let everybody else know about them. Eventually they would know. Sooner or later… so why not as soon as possible?

"What are you thinking about?" Jesse's soft voice brought Chris back to reality and he glanced up. Jesse's eyes were still resting on Chris.

Chris couldn't help but smile as he rose from where he was currently sitting. A few steps and he was by the bed. He crawled onto the mattress and laid himself down, wrapping his arms around Jesse's warm body, nuzzling his neck.

A soft purr emitted from his throat as Chris snuggled closer.

As fingers began stroking his hair, Chris placed a quick kiss on Jesse's neck before speaking, "I wanna know what you were thinking about first…" a sigh escaped his lips. "I was thinking about how damn sexy you are!" Jesse grinned and winked, "Now tell me what's on your mind."

Chris chuckled and smiled before lifting his head to gaze at Jesse. "Are you serious? Was that the reason why you were so far gone?" he shook his head when Jesse only grinned.

Jesse tightened his grip around Chris' body, staring into his amazingly clear eyes. "Please… will you let me know what's on your mind?" Sighing, Chris slowly rolled onto his back and glanced up at the plain white ceiling.

"It's just…" he began, "Jess?" he suddenly questioned before turning to his side again, resting his cheek on Jesse's shoulder. "Do you think it's time to tell our friends about this?" his voice was low and he was obviously insecure.

A moment of complete silence passed by. Jesse inhaled deeply before answering the question, "I – I think it is… I mean… they'll know eventually…" he shrugged his shoulders, his fingers still stroking Chris' silky locks.

"So you think we should tell them…?" Chris leaned into Jesse's soft caressing. Chris then nodded. Jesse was right. Besides, if they told their friends then it would be so much relieving! No more secrets. No more meeting in the darkness when everyone was sleeping. No more hiding.

Smiling to himself, Chris imagined if everyone would accept their relationship. He knew he wasn't supposed to even be attracted to Jesse in the first place. They had never really been friends and they had always been in separate groups. Well… that reason could just be because they had both stayed loyal to their friends.

Pouting suddenly, he remembered Billy. The bastard still acted like he owned Jesse. He was obviously either too stupid or too wrapped up in his own world to realize that Jesse didn't want him back. Sure Billy left Jesse, but he definitely regretted it afterwards. Fortunately Jesse had been smart enough to stay away and not come crawling back to him!

"Should we tell them today?" Jesse's voice interrupted his thoughts and he decided that today should be the day! "Yes. I think that would be the best. Don't you think?" Jesse smiled down at him and gently brushed his lips over his forehead. "Does that mean 'yes'?" Chris snickered and he was rewarded with another kiss and a nod from his lover.

For several minutes neither Jesse or Chris moved or spoke. They just held each other and listened to the wind blowing outside the windows, their heartbeats, the silence. The comforting silence. Just feeling each other's warm skin and feel one another's chest heave with every breathe they inhaled and exhaled.

Chris could feel his eyes becoming heavier. He nearly doze off. A soft voice prevented him from falling asleep though. "Chris…? Chris, baby we need to get going" he slowly opened his eyes and was met with a wide smile.

"Not a good time to fall asleep, babe…" Jesse half laughed as he placed a long kiss on the smaller man's forehead. Chris yawned, "Isn't my fault you're like a huge teddy bear!" sitting up in the bed, he stole a quick kiss from Jesse's moist lips before leaving the springy mattress to pick up his duffel bag.

"Teddy bear, huh?" Jesse sniggered, "I thought I was a puppy…" Chris gazed at him with a snort. "You're a teddy puppy! That's what you are…" Jesse couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, "A teddy puppy? Does that word even exist?" Chris looked at Jesse for a brief second before he smiled, "You're the people's teddy puppy!"

"What the hell? People's…? Explain!" Jesse folded his arms over his chest, trying to look serious, although he wasn't able to hold back a chuckle. "Your eyebrow!" he laughed causing Jesse to join him. They both laughed for a moment.

"Come on, we need to leave now…" Chris announced as he picked up his duffel bag and headed towards the door. Picking up his own stuff, Jesse followed his lover.

Chris peeked out the door to make sure no one was there. He then turned around quickly and captured Jesse's lips in a harsh kiss before heading out the door. Jesse waited for a little while before leaving the hotel room, clicking the door shut behind him.

The End 


	8. Showing Their True Colors

Title: Showing Their True Colors.  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: No one belongs to me. This world is so unfair!  
Distribution: Ask me. I am very nice.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: This fic contains profanity and male/male slash.  
Rating: PG-13.  
Notes: This is the 8th chapter of my Cautious Affections series.

Chris sighed heavily, tightening his arms around Jesse, pulling him closer. He buried his face in Jesse neck, murmuring into his braids. "Do you think we should tell them today?" His voice was coated with concern and insecurity.

Jesse nodded shakily, not saying a word.

"Why does love have to be so complicated?" Chris whispered as he brushed his lips over the soft skin on Jesse's neck. Jesse shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe it's not… It might be easier if we told our friends…"

For several minutes they just sat there, in Chris' locker room. Holding each other closely as if they were gonna be apart for the rest of their lives. Not speaking or moving. Just savoring the feel of warmth and protection.

"What the hell?" someone suddenly exclaimed.

Jesse and Chris jumped in fear instantly moved themselves away from each other. "Ummm…" Jesse mumbled, desperately trying to find an excuse to Sean who was now facing them both. "We were just…" Chris tried unable to make any excuse either. "Yeah…" Jesse then continued. Both of them looked as if they were about to faint.

"You were hugging…" Sean said as he pointed at them, his eyes huge in obvious confusion. "Sean, I-I can explain it!" Jesse said, stepping closer to Sean.

Sean looked at Jesse expectantly as he awaited his excuse. "I love him…" he murmured quietly. "You what?" Sean was astonished! "I love him!" Jesse repeated, reaching his hand for Chris allowing him to hold his hand.

Sean didn't know what to think. "Does that mean…? You two are…?" Jesse nodded and so did Chris. "Wow! I sure missed something here!" Sean laughed happily. Jesse and Chris just looked at each other. Now it was their time to be confused!

"I knew already that you were in love with Chris. It was obvious. I just didn't know you two were actually together now!" Sean quickly walked over to his friend, giving him a quick hug. "Wait a minute… You mean you're ok with us?" Jesse questioned as Sean released him again.

"Of course! It's your life and as long as you're happy!" He smiled brightly when he saw the pure happiness shining from Jesse's eyes. "This is just great!" Jesse laughed.

Chris stood and simply just watched not wanting to interfere. However Sean came to him, smiling and then reached his hand out to shake hands with him. Chris smiled and gladly shook his hand. He was surprised though when Sean pulled him into a semi-hug.

"We need to go tell the rest!" Sean bounced, causing both men to grin. "Alright…" Jesse smiled as he turned towards his lover. "We'll go tell our friends now then, ok?" Chris nodded, "Sure" he answered before claiming Jesse's lips in a deep kiss. "Love you…" he whispered against his lips. "Love you too" Jesse responded before they headed towards the door, walking separate ways after exiting.

Chris walked down the hallway, a wide smile decorating his facial features. He went straight to his closest friends, Adam, Jay, Matt and Jeff. And as usual the four of them were in the same locker room. He carefully pushed the door open and went inside.

"Hi guys," he greeted as he approached them. "Hey Chris! How's it going?" Jay asked before hugging him. "Yeah, we haven't seen you much lately! What's up with that?" Matt added.

"Ummm… that is why I am here. I need to tell you something" Chris murmured. "You don't like us anymore?" Adam abruptly asked. "What? No, no, it's not that!" he laughed, "No, it's… I got a boyfriend…" he said trailing off into a whisper. "New boyfriend, huh?" Jeff asked, "Who is it?"

Chris gazed confused at Jeff. He was expecting a loud "WHAT! A BOYFRIEND!" scream from at least one of them. But no, they all looked ok with it. He inhaled deeply and found all his courage.

"Jesse…"

Matt rose, tilting his head slightly, "Jesse James?" Chris nodded. "Who would have ever thought that!" Jay smiled before adding, "Congratulations, man!"

Chris couldn't believe it! None of them seemed to have a problem with them! Never in his life had Chris felt more relieved than at that very moment!

"He's not exactly my type" Matt laughed "But he's a hell of a nice guy! And he's funny!"

Chris couldn't help but smile at that.

"Did you sleep with him?" Jeff suddenly asked out of nowhere. Chris laughed nervously, "That's none of your business Hardy!" Jeff then laughed hysterically, "That means you did!" Chris blushed slightly, "No I didn't!" "Yes you did! Is he good?" Chris then blushed bright red, "You're so childish!" he laughed.

Jesse still couldn't believe that Sean had been happy for him! Sean was a true friend. Now he was only hoping for Hunter to accept it to. It would be hard! Since Hunter and Chris had a very bad past. They never really got along. To say the least.

Billy. Damn, it was gonna be tough as hell! Billy was Jesse's former boyfriend and sometimes Billy did still act as if he owned Jesse. He could be an asshole if you didn't do what he liked. But Chris already knew about Jesse and Billy's relationship so he should be able to understand.

Sean was watching his friend as they walked down the hallway. He could see that he was concerned. He wrapped an arm comfortingly around his shoulder, pulling him closer. "Don't worry Jesse. They'll be happy for you! And if not then I'll kick their asses!" Jesse couldn't help but smile at that. Sean seemed very sincere. The Kid was a great person.

Together they entered their locker room, Hunter sitting on the little couch curled up with his wife Stephanie in his arms and on the opposite site Billy was resting on another little couch. "Hey, Jesse!" Hunter greeted happily as he saw him enter the room.

"Hi…" he said low, waving his hand quickly in the air. "Friends, Jesse has some great news to tell you!" Sean was practically bouncing!

Jesse felt as if he wanted to run straight out of the room and never come back again. They were all staring expectantly at him. "Ummm…" he scratched his head, not really knowing what to say. Sean gently nudged his side with the elbow, trying to make Jesse speak.

"I am seeing someone…" was all he could say. He instantly realized that it sounded stupid! And of course it made them all look even more curious!

"I mean I've been with him for quite some time now…" Jesse trailed off, thinking that this was a mistake. "Who!" Hunter suddenly interrupted his thoughts. Jesse gazed at Hunter, seeing the wide grin on his face. He looked happy… Jesse concluded that he should tell them.

"It's Chris… Jericho…"

Jesse glanced down at his feet, feeling the need to bury himself alive. "Jericho?" Hunter asked quietly. To Jesse's surprise Hunter didn't sound angry or disgusted! Nodding slightly, Jesse was about to answer when he was cut off by Billy suddenly starting to yell.

"Chris! You've been fucking with that bitch!" Billy was obviously furious, his yelling causing Jesse to feel embarrassed and stupid for telling them. "I can't believe you fucked with him!" with those words he walked straight out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"What the fuck is his problem?" Hunter questioned, staring at the door before looking at Jesse again. "Oh no, Jesse…" he said as he noticed the stray tear trickling down his cheek. Hunter rose and went to his friend, Sean doing the same.

"Don't be sad. He's an asshole!" Hunter tried to sooth him, gently rubbing his back. "I shouldn't have told you… I should have stayed away from Chris…" Jesse spoke but Hunter interrupted him. "Bullshit Jesse! I don't like Chris, but I better start now! If you love him then you should be with him! Just fuck Billy!" Hunter then pulled him into a hug.

"I'll go talk to Billy, ok?" Hunter gently squeezed his shoulder before heading towards the door. Jesse heard the door close just as he sank down onto the couch. "This was a mistake…" he muttered to himself. "No it's not. It'll work out, don't worry…" Sean told him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder.

Jesse really wanted to believe Sean, but somehow he felt that this could go wrong. No one knew Billy better than he did and he knew that Billy did not like this at all. He feared Billy would do something stupid. Something that could mean the end of his and Chris' relationship. Only time would tell.

The End 


	9. The Beginning Or The End?

Title: The Beginning Or The End?  
Author: Kristina Q.  
Disclaimer: No one belongs to me. This world is so unfair!  
Distribution: Ask me. I am very nice.  
Spoiler: AU. I guess.  
Warning: A bit profanity and male/male situations.  
Rating: R. edited  
Notes: This is the 9th chapter of my Cautious Affections series.

Sniffling, Jesse wiped his eyes angrily. How could Billy be so cruel? Why did he react that way? He didn't own Jesse! He never had! Or had he? It didn't matter! It had nothing to do with their relationship! This was about Chris and Jesse. After so long time then Billy should be able to let Jesse love someone else. Especially after he dumped him for someone else!

It made no sense to Jesse. Why did he get so pissed off. If you didn't know better then you'd think Billy was still his boyfriend! Maybe… did Billy still have feelings for Jesse? No, it couldn't be possible! He had never cared for him. He had only wanted to fuck him whenever he wanted to!

Billy was a mystery. Maybe Hunter could talk to him and make him tell what his problems are. Hunter had promised to call him later and tell about Billy.

Another tear trickled from his reddened eye. Why was Billy always such an asshole!

Jesse was so deep in his own thoughts he didn't even hear the door to his hotelroom open. Didn't hear someone enter. Didn't hear the door closing again.

"Bastard…" Jesse muttered to himself.

"What's wrong?"

Jesse nearly jumped off the bed in shock. He didn't know someone was there. He quickly got up, wiping his eyes before facing Chris. "Nothing… nothing's wrong…" Jesse tried to sound at least a bit happy. He didn't succeed. His voice and his reddened eyes gave it all away.

"Jess, what happened?" Chris carefully asked, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around the older man, trying to comfort him. Jesse willingly let himself be embraced. He needed it.

Running his hand through the older man's braids, Chris was trying to soothe him. "Please tell me what's wrong…" Chris gently whispered against Jesse's neck. "It's just… Billy." Jesse muttered, "I don't understand him…"

Chris tightened his embrace and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before speaking, "Just let him be. He's just jealous, that's all. Besides then it's none of his business who you're with… right?" Chris playfully rubbed his nose against Jesse's causing him to smile a bit.

"I guess you're right, babe." Jesse's smile widened before he kissed him quickly. "Of course I am… now come here…" Chris whispered, his lips brushing a curve of Jesse's neck before he backed towards the bed and sat down, waiting. His eyes were locked on Jesse's, sending him an inviting gaze.

"Let me make you feel better…"

Jesse grinned slyly before he came to Chris, but not as he had expected. Instead he went around him and sat on the bed behind Chris, brushing his hair away from his neck before placing soft kisses there. Chris craned his head back and Jesse instantly captured his lips in a deep kiss, feeling his fingers gently caressing his tense muscles on his back.

They broke the kiss, Chris gasping slightly as he felt his tight shirt being pulled off, warm fingers constantly stroking every inch of flesh on his chest and stomach. Chris purred softly, leaning back against Jesse's heaving chest. "I thought I was gonna make you feel better…?" he lightly laughed.

"I feel much better already…" Jesse said between kisses. He trailed his lips along his neck, his fingers finally reaching the waistline of Chris skintight leather pants. For a long moment he played with the button before finally unbuttoning.

Chris opened his eyes, instantly glaring at him, smiling softly. "That was amazing…" Jesse grinned, satisfied.

Bending, Jesse placed a kiss on the younger man's forehead before snuggling next to him, curling his arms around his waist. He laid his head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"What about Billy?" Jesse whispered against the golden locks of his lover. Chris stroked a finger over Jesse's ribs, hearing him purr softly. "We'll just have to see what happens…"

Jesse then kissed his cheek before reaching for the covers and draping them over their bodies. "I think we need to sleep…" he twirled a strand of Chris' hair around his finger and gently tugged. "Why?" Chris murmured, shifting until he was facing Jesse.

"If I know the Kid right then he's gonna be planning something for tomorrow…" Jesse giggled. "Planning what?" Chris muttered as he buried his face in Jesse's neck. "Probably a party or something. Would be typical for Sean!"

"I'm not sure I can sleep…" Chris stated, smiling. "Then let's just lay here and stare at each other…"

However not many minutes later their eyes closed, soft breathing and they fell asleep in one another's arms.

The End 


End file.
